- Chronology of Israel's relationship with Gaza: "Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, death - lunch- death, death, death -afternoon tea - death, death, death - quick shower..." [Interesting] - 35 years after being shot, man dies from bullet wound [Strange] - UN: "Please don't blow up elementary schools we've designated as shelters." Israel: "PEWPEWPEW" [Obvious] - Man throws new roommate a welcoming party, Cheney-style [Scary] - Wow, your Grandma can really shred: "The success of Guitar Hero means that the onus is now on the manufacturers of 'real' guitars to make them easier" [Unlikely] - Cross-dressing doctor who murdered his wife is found, well, hung [Weird] - Fark 10th Anniversary Party - Lexington KY Feb 13th. Details in link if you're on Facebook, in thread if you're not [PSA] - Restaurant brings Chicago-style ribs to Britain and the critics rave about the American delicacy: "This is, to put it simply, just so you don't forget, terribly bad food. And it's terribly bad food from the bad past." [Obvious] - The problem with promising your kids you'll buy a toy store if you win the lottery is you might actually win the lottery. Then your kids can discover adults lie (bonus use of word 'gobsmacked') [Obvious] - Apparently "balancing on a giant bamboo pole" falls under the category of traditional firefighting skills in Japan [Weird] - Liar's Club has 2,000,000,000 members, and costs $1,000,000 to join and Jon Lovitz is the President [Spiffy] - Upside down and pantsless is no way to ride a ski lift, son. With hilarious photo goodness, of course(Not safe for work) [Amusing] - Kiwi selling strawberries finds herself in a pickle when a crab apple tells her to produce cash, jewelry and cell phone. Lettuce hope it never happens again [Interesting] - Vicar takes down crucifixion sculpture deemed to be "horrifying depiction of pain and suffering" because it scared worshippers. Just figured that out now, did you? [Obvious] - After rash of heart attacks and severe fractures, hot physiotherapist shows Canadians how to shovel snow without injuring themselves [Interesting] - British Atheists raise enough money to put anti-God statements on 800 more buses, which will no doubt convert as many people as "Jesus is my co-pilot" bumper stickers do [Interesting] - Heavy drinking might be responsible for more sexual HIV transmission than illicit drugs, according to a new study by the Department of the Obvious [Obvious] - Rip Torn charged with DUI in Connecticut. This is not a repeat of 2004 and 2007. With mugshot goodness [Obvious] - Japan still conducting vital research into why whales die when they're harpooned, skinned and gutted [Followup] - Gas prices are lower than they were when Bush took office. Wait, what? [Interesting] - Motorcyclists in Nigeria adopt to country's new mandatory helmet laws by wearing pumpkins on their heads [Amusing] - Fat bottom girls make the rocking world go 'round, are healthier than pear shaped ones [Asinine] - Man stops to ask for directions, is never heard from again. This is why we don't [Obvious] - Caption this cheeky monkey [Caption] - Man receives $240,000 in compensation after being forced to cover Arabic t-shirt at airport because it was like "wearing a T-shirt at a bank stating, 'I am a robber.'" [Followup] - Adding insult to injury for Patriots fans, Hugo Chavez stops sending free heating oil to Boston [Interesting] - "Dear Obama, Australia is killing the planet. Sincerely, NASA" [Unlikely] - Today's 17 year old who slipped out of his handcuffs & stole the police car is brought to you by the Springfield (Missouri) PD [Amusing] - Who is interested in a Fark party in Europe this year? Please feel free to suggest time of year and location. LGT Google Group [Spiffy] - Nanny State parents abandoning traditional fairy tales because making Cinderella do housework is sexist and "dwarf" isn't PC. Tossers [Asinine] - Fire at London cannabis factory ties up 300 firefighters and 35 pizza delivery boys for several hours [Interesting] - Photoshop this working woman [Photoshop] - As God is my witness, I thought dogs could hold their drink [Dumbass] - Free public access cable channels are going away. All I have to say about that is "asphinctersayswhat" [Sad] - Four-year-old victim of America's gun culture shoots his babysitter for stepping on his foot [Sad] - Pakistani woman given political asylum because she's 7'2" and fears persecution. That's a tall tale [Obvious] - This week on "CSI: Paw Paw": CSI's crack investigators need only three weeks to figure out that the heart found in a local car wash belonged to a deer, not a human [Followup] - Stuff you don't want to find when sorting through your grandfather's belongings: 1. Pictures of a mistress. 2. Adoption papers. 3. A live mortar shell [Scary] - A giant peach wasn't the only thing to drop in Atlanta on New Year's Eve [Scary] - Why dirt-cheap hotels like Travelodge are exactly that, with filthy toilets, stained mattresses and bedding a wino wouldn't sleep on [Scary] - Gas prices up for the first time in 16 weeks. EVERYBODY PANIC [Interesting] - Photoshop Joaquin Phoen.......Oh holy hell [Photoshop] - If you're going to steal electricity from the power company, it's best not to decorate your house with the brightest Christmas lights in the neighborhood [Florida] - If someone pushes a baby carriage out in front of your car, don't stop -- it's probably a robbery attempt [Scary] - University dean hopes to embiggen the English language through Web site aimed at keeping "good" but rarely used words in the public lexicon. How perfectly cromulent of him [Silly] - Females are less physically active than males. Unless there's a sale on shoes [Obvious] - Soldier may have been looking for a Cheesburger in Paradise, but Come Monday, he was dead after a bar fight over a Jimmy Buffet song [Strange] - After California police officers accidentally make unarmed man lie face down on the floor and accidentally handcuff him, one of them accidentally draws his gun and accidentally shoots the guy in the back [Scary] - With an average monthly income of $17 Raul Castro says Cubans can now build their own homes with their own money [Dumbass] - That strawberry yogurt you're eating has a bug in it. No, really. But the FDA doesn't really require that anyone tell you that [Scary]